Bloodhound Gang - Screwing You On The Beach At Night (Medical Records) 22/10/2007

T: It's amazing that the Bloodhound Gang, after some time away, can come back sounding EXACTLY like the Bloodhound Gang, albeit with a backdrop akin to ATB's "9PM ('til I Come)". Their lyrics are always amusing in a naughty schoolchild kind of way, though it has to be said the novelty of this one would wear thin pretty quickly.

N: With numbers like "Kiss Me Where Iit Smells Funny"and "Why Is Everybody Always Picking On Me" among their previous picks, I thought that this band were only a joke band, but with more and more absurd numbers coming from their mouths, I don't know? This certainly is neither great, nor funny enough to have me sniggering when I take the number off the shelves. Perhaps they're struggling, not exactly worth the plastic it's printed on. What really is strange though is this band describing themselves as "Christian Rap" on their myspace profile, how queer? 3/10

web site - myspace

Grammatics - Shadow Committee (Dance To The Radio) 22/10/2007

T: "I'm liking this" is what Nick just said to me. Which is the exact opposite to what I was thinking. Perhaps it's another one of those "like Marmite" releases. It sounds to me like they've taken Muse and funked them up a lot. Well, actually if I'm honest, I don't DISlike this stuff, but it doesn't do a great deal for me. Perhaps I'll turn a blind eye while Nick waxes lyrical and practically ejaculates over it. Excuse me from the room for a minute readers - here he comes...

N: Complicated instrumentation, runs at a fair pace, or "crashes" to paraphrase the press release. Vocals are clear and add to the atmosphere in this number I cannot see exactly where Tone is coming from in this instance. I like the creativity that this band are serving up in this instant.

T: Thinly veiled emo.

N: So be it then, "Thinly veiled emo" in a more creative and forthright guise. Don't listen to him, he's stupid.

T: Thinly veiled emo. 6/10

web site - myspace

Lightspeed Champion - Midnight Surprise (Domino) 15/10/2007

T: What begins as a relatively predictable singalong tune actually turns into something genuinely pretty with some well utilised strings and effective "Ba da ba da" backing vocals by the time the whole thing's built to its own crescendo and is well worth the effort.

N: Nice sounding number, but I feel the tempo holds it back somewhat, sort of stop-start-stop-start. Otherwise nice vocals and with some pretty solid instrumentation. Yeah, I think I could go for this.

T: General Mintstone is far from justification. Only canaries will melt in the mines if you blowtorch them.

N: And I had pasta for tea last night, where the hell are you coming from?

T: Barnsley.

N: That would explain it then, not meaning to cast aspersions on those who do actually come from Barnsley. 7/10

web site - myspace

Robots In Disguise - The Sex Has Made Me Stupid (President Records) 15/10/2007

T: "The Sex Has Made Me Stupid"...

N: I wouldn't necessarily say that, just a little slower. Anyway I suppose I should really ask your wife about this one?

T: What does she know about the sex I have?

N: "Ok Tone's right hand, can you comment please"?

Tone's Right Hand: No I fucking can't, I'm busy.

N: Err, I think I'll go and make a cup of Tea. Tone?

T: Uuuuhhhh. Do you need milk?

N: " - ".

T: Always leave 'em speechless, that's what I say.

N: Anyway, that track, what was your opinion?

T: You're always copping out and asking my opinion first. You go first.

N: Alright, myself I thought it was a little nondescript.

T: I'd agree. It was a bit like eating a fairly pleasant sandwich and then going about your business as normal. Ok-ish. 6/10

web site - myspace

Sky Larkin - Molten (Dance To The Radio) 15/10/2007

N: This would be the band Kate Nash would front, if she hadn't been lured by a darker side. But for now this Leeds-spawned trio are a cracking option. Fronted, funnily enough by Katie, she pulls together solid tuneful numbers aidied admirably by co-horts Doug and Nestor providing the solid under current. The band have come from a busy 12 month schedule of touring with the likes of The Gossip, Howling Belles, ¡Forward Russia! and Broken Social Scene, nuff said really. I like them anyway, Tone?

T: Exciting, strident and playful. What more could you want? Superb stuff. 9/10

web site - myspace

U.S.E. - Open Your Eyes (Concept Music) 15/10/2007

T: This began in a really exciting way, as though it was going to be a real ballbuster, but all of a sudden we have a bloody vocoder akin to Cher's "Believe". I guess you could say Daft Punk are more of an influence, but overall, this has more cheese than a French market.

N: Please don't mention Ms Collogen Butt. This is a cracking number, admittedly spoilt by the vocal enhancer, or dehancer depending on which camp you're in - you're right though, this has "hit" stamped all over it.

T: In case any readers were wondering, I said that out loud but never typed it (about it being a cerain "hit").

N: Thank you for that clarification. 7/10

web site - myspace

Tunng - Bullets (Full Time Hobby) 15/10/2007

T: No matter what our AD colleague and freak folk expert Mr. Blake may think, this is a marvellous tune, if a hell of a lot more commercial than they have ever released before. A bit like Gomez or the Beta Band but it should cross over pretty well to a wider audience.

N: This band's coming of age. "Bullets" is a simply awesome tune, both lyrically and with a melody that many strive for, but so often fail to achieve. 9/10

web site - myspace

Von Südenfed - The Rhinohead (Domino) 15/10/2007

Does anyone know what Mark E Smith is saying? Hell, I don't and I don't much care. The Rhinohead is a storming tune, that might only suffer the criticism that it is in fact far too short. This however is remedied on the 'Pilooski edit', that far from being edited runs to 7 minutes, hey I can boogie to this version. The B-side or second track on this single is comically titled 'Slow Down Ronnie', a number described as a eulogy to snooker hero Ronnie O Sullivan and at odds with much of Mark's ramblings can be heard above the din that ensues.

Available as a 12" and digital download, the band come fresh from live dates played during September and October. 7/10

Nick James

web site - myspace

The Vichy Government - Mail Order Bride (Filthy Little Angels) 24/09/2007

T: Almost like an electronic version of The Police's "Sally - Be My Girl", this is a hugely appealing musical skit of humorous observational wit delivered in an acerbic Scottish brogue that is impossible not to like despite - or perhaps because of - the band's limitations!

N: But wouldn't you rather be governed by the Vichy Government? Quite what their economic policies are I'm unsure, but they always manage to raise a smile. 8/10

web site - myspace

Black Kites - Emergency Exit EP (Filthy Little Angels) 24/09/2007

N: A download only duo of songs from this band who've certainly got spunk, in an initial number that really rocks! That's 'What Do You In Case Of Emergency' and those long song titles really allow for maximum lineage, so the following number 'Slow Exit' comes as a surprise, but again is full of tuneful moments, aside the driving bassline, crunching guitars and air filled melodies.

T: Nail. Head. Hit.

N: Pretty much rocks, eh. 9/10

web site - myspace

The Star Fighter Pilots vs The Colt 45s (Leaving Home Records) 24/09/2007

N: We're going spacial with the Star Fighter Pilots and "Another Penny". I'm liking this lo-fi feel the band have put on this number. The vocalist...

T: ...is Mick Hucknall.

N: Ok, after that statement, wait for the litigationn. He sounds nothing llike Mick Hucknall, and only Mick Hucknall has the unfortunate place of looking like Mick Hucknall...

T: He's shagged more women than you.

N: ...and where's the justice in that?

T: Anyway, I didn't say it SOUNDED like Mick Hucknall. I just said it was...

N: It was what?

T: It was Mick Hucknall singing.

N: But Mick Hucknall doesn't get out of bed for an independent label.

T: II know. I was just winding you up. And it worked a treat.

N: What about the Star Fighter Pilots then?

T: I'm not so sure, to be honest. It's very early nineties, not that this is a bad thing, but there's little depth to any of it.

N: How about The Colt 45s then? Homemade jam.

T: To me, it sounds like they've roped Andy Summers in to an old church hall on guitar, and the Go-gos have turned up and decided that, you know, the vocals simply aren't ECHOEY enough, so they've jipped the mixing desk up to full.

N: Well if what you were trying to get across was that it's shit, then I'll agree, but 'Dry London Gin' sounds nothing like 'Rocket Fuel'? Better, less shit and certainly possessing an attitude that is unavoidable.

T: ...which makes it difficult to mark, as they've put out one song that's utter shite, and one that just drips quality.

N: ...and in that I've completely forgotten where we were going, who am I?

T: You're the bishop of South Africa and that's lunch. 6/10

The Star Fighter Pilots - myspace - website

The Colt 45s - myspace

The New Royal Family Vs Keith TOTP (Filthy Little Angels) 24/09/2007

T: I've never heard a band more clearly influenced by Adam and the Ants than the New Royal Family. Even the name should give it away. According to the blurb, they fall just to the right side of a joke band, but I wouldn't even put them close to that bracket. An enjoyable romp through a Pirroni-esque guitar led ditty backed with Keith TOTP's "I Hate Your Band", who has already been beaten somewhat recently to a title of similar leaning by the chart friendly Little Man Tate. Keith's effort sounds exactly like Graham Coxon but is a more than palatable aside to the pumped up guitar slinging of NRF.

N: Keith's B-side is an even wittier observation, although I can't see it attracting prime time airplay for nothing else but the obscenities. But his stripped down Coxon like guitar drenched numbers make for ambivalence.

T: Even if "Girl" does sound exactly like a Pete Doherty composition. 7/10

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