Parkinsons Disease

Three very boisterous and filthy scally wags from Portugal come to your town and trash the local music venue with violent but highly spectacular stage antics...the mods 'n punks are back in town, it's the Parkinsons!
Na'im Cortazzi caught up with them at The Charlotte in Leicester before they let off the fire extinguishers and soaked the punters with more than mediterreanian sweat!
In the dressing room they desperately pace around the room, I'm not sure whether spokesman and band leader/guitarist Victor Torpedo is working himself into perfoming tonight or, if he's trying to find impressive answers from somewhere other than his gob!
I think I hit a nerve...read on!

AD: Tell me, what's your motivation?

Victor: Boredom and pussy

AD: What was the first gig as "the Parkinsons" like?

Victor: We got about 70 friends to come down to see us, we blew the roof off in a small venue in London, it was a fine beginning...

AD: Did you have or make plans after this?

Victor: What happens, happens...Why do I get a stiffy? Why do we play the toilet venues?...This is the jungle and we are the tigers! This is our home and we're on the rampage! This is our motivation and explanation.

AD: So do you rehearse for shows?

Victor: Rehearsing? Gigging is a million times more life affirming than a mere rehearsal, repetition can kill the spirit and spirit motivates this band.

AD: I noticed that you have a new drummer?

Victor: Yeah, things just didn't click with the old guy. Our new drummer is shit hot, he used to play in the Jesus and Mary Chain. This will be only his 7th show with us.

AD: What do think about the punk revival and your place in it?

Victor: Music scenes work in cycles and punk is back, we don't like comparisons however, and we aren't jumping on any band wagon. We aren't products, but the NME will lump us in with other punky sounding bands of the moment, we'll stand up to any pretenders like the Von Bondies in a fight...
(Victor is clearly disturbed now and almost shouting)
Some journalists are employed by bands to write about those bands...that's bullshit. The only magazine I can enjoy reading at the momenty is MOJO.
The way we promote ourselves is gigging. That's the only way of promoting what you do with any credibility.

AD: This is interesting, so you're saying that even "cred indie bands" aren't real?

Victor: Of course. Alot of these...let's call them NME bands, are exposed and promoted before they even have their own crowd. Record labels make out that bands should get themselves an audience before approaching them and yet labels bust a gut shoving their shit pet groups on an unsuspecting public that no-ones heard of.

AD: If it was you in the spotlight you wouldn't complain would you?

Victor: I'll tell you something, we'll take whatever you give, if it means we can get to more people than bring it on!.

AD: So if a major label were interested then would you take what they offer, warts and all?

Victor: We'd go with the biggest label and the fattest pay check!

AD: Well aren't you contradicting yourselves? Saying that you want credibility and yet you'd jump ship for the 'silver dollar'?

Victor: Not at all, because if they had the balls to wanna sign the Parkinsons then they would know that they couldn't change us. We do what we do and we are what we are. We couldn't change. So what it then comes down to is if we can make a good living as the Parkinsons or a shit one. It ain't rocket science! If your talking about music over morality then truth be known that the Industry is scared of the Parkinsons so any hyperthetical situations that you bring up would never happen anyway!

Fair comment and to round proceedings off, here is Victor Torpedos' New Punk Top 10 of “the Parkinsons” Play List;

10. The Datsuns
9. The Liars
8. Girls on Top
7. The Rocks
6. The Bloodgroup
5. The Others
4. Police and Theives
3. 80's Match Box B-line Disaster
2. Ikara Colt

And so bringing things to a head, the pick of the pops on “the Parkinsons” play list is...

1. The Dirt Bombs

I thank you for your indulgence.

Na'im Cortazzi