Jon Gomm - Don't Panic (Performing Chimp Records) 07/12/2009

T: Difficult to review, as Jon quite clearly is very adept - maybe even a virtuoso - at what he does with his acoustic guitar, but the end effect is that it kind of washes over me somewhat. Cool laid back jazziness abounds, and I guess it would be pleasant background noise if you're the sort of person who has dinner parties, but it certainly wouldn't fit your S&M parties Nick.

N: So I guess I'll just have to stick with my penchant for Industrial hardcore then.

T: Can you wait until I've gone?

N: Can I take off my gimp mask now then?

T: Oh. I hadn't even noticed. 7/10

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Various Artists - 2000 Trees - Cider Smiles Vol. 1 (Hide & Seek Records) Out Now

T: Starting with Frank Turner's "Photosynthesis" is a good move on this compilation, as he seems to be a genuine star in the making, judging by the frenzied reaction of his fans at several of this year's festivals. The only downside is that Turner is so strong that he even manages to make the following track, Future Of The Left's "Small Bones Small Bodies" look mediocre.

N: I would have to take issue with quite the level at which you have dismissed 'FotL', Frank Turner is on another 'plain' in this sense, agreed, but all of these artists sit together not as awkwardly as you would first expect and go on to invent a highly engaging album.

T: Well I wasn't really dismissing them. I was implying that Future Of The Left are indeed an excellent outfit, and another success story from the 2009 live circuit. I think what I meant was that by starting with Frank means you can only really go downhill. Having said that though, it's an impressive collection of oddities, the pick of the bunch perhaps being the Dizzee Rascal meets Cage The Elephant feel of The Anomalies' "Bamboo Beats".

N: From that, I think we can agree that in a world where the compilation may have been levelled the 'freak show' of the music genre, here you can find a set of tunes fully worthy of sitting side-by-side. 9/10

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Various Artists - A Very Cherry Christmas 5 (Cherryade) 16/11/2009

T: Cherryade's annual festive treat kicks off this year with a track called "Let Me Be The Fairy On Your Christmas Tree" by The School. The effect is one comparable with a Phil Spector produced Moldy Peaches.

N: (upon hearing second track, Das Wanderlust's "Someone To Pull Crackers With") Oh dear. Next.

T: A lot of this year's selection seem to be based upon lo-fi twee, varying from the ludicrous (The Lovely Eggs' "Tyrannosaurus Rex For Christmas") to head tapping jauntiness (The 10p Mixs' "Christmas Number One"). It's a fascinating listen, if nothing else, though I doubt you'd play it more than once a year at best. Then again, what else do you want from a Christmas album?

N: I think these artists are doing their best to equal out much of the bilge that may be released today, by recording something so leftfield that it will literally knock your canary off its perch. 7/10

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